i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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