I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Is it because I queefed?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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