if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
