We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
