New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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