She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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