You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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