Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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