Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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