man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize