You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
