I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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