Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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