GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
