She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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