I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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