my vag is so smooth its legendary
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
