love makes seman taste better
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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