I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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