I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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