i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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