I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize