if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
