We named our party play list daddy issues
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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