I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
