MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
