Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Come see our sink grown plant.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
