We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
50% drunk capacity currently
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
