Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Drake has all the answers
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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