We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
either way he was missing a nipple.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
