Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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