Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
