I wish I could teleport
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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