So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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