Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize