You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
