is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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