I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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