The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
