she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I haven't been this sober since birth.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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