I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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