my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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