I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
