Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize