Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
