I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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