I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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