Please, let me fuck your mom
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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