i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
is wine microwaveable?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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