i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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