just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
