this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
