ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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