I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I have fence marks all over my body
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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