I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
