The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
